I am spending my child support on dildos
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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