Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize