I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
