dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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