Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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