I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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