nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
