Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
