Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
