We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
