I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
