he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
