oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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