There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize