Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
