I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
