Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
