garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
