people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize