whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
