I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize