you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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