I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
