Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
