The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
