OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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