oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
