coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
