I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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