I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
