So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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