she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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