I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
