we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
