how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
high people should be assigned attendants
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize