Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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