If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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