I like my sex mixed with concussions.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
