i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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