Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
