While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
