Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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