Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
