I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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