when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
