ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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