I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
