That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
