i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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