mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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