I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
