I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
