she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
