Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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