He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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