matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
