Where is the hickey?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
