She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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