Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
