Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
