how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and she was petting her beer can
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
did i walk over a car last night?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
