he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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