I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
