i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize