when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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