his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
