Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
