dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
