just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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