She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
