Grow some girl-balls and come out already
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
