When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
