Swine flu. Run for my life!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
