The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
