no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
