I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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