Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize