Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
