i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
